Biden Pardons A Turkey

( At the annual Thanksgiving ceremony held at the White House, President Joe Biden continued the lighthearted custom of the Turkey Pardon by telling dad jokes while upholding the tradition.

On Monday, Chocolate and Chip made their way to the White House in preparation for the event, which has become an annual custom ever since it was made famous by the 41st president of the United States, George H.W. Bush. Every year, the national Thanksgiving turkey (or turkeys) are brought before the president, where they are given amnesty from being consumed as food and are instead taken to a bird sanctuary to spend the remainder of their lives in peace.

Biden began the event by extending a welcome to all who had gathered, and he even gave a shout-out to his dog, Commander, who was observing the proceedings from the Truman balcony.

One of the awful jokes Biden tried was to say he didn’t want to “gobble up too much time.” He said this with a toothy grin. After that “bomb,” he went ahead and granted the pardon, but not before making light of the Republican Party’s dissatisfaction with the results of the midterm elections.

Biden stated that all the ballots had been received, that they had been tabulated and validated, and that there had been no ballot “stuffing or fowl play.”

He continued with the lame banter by remarking, “the only time there will be a red wave during this holiday season is when our German Shepherd, Commander, accidentally knocks over the cranberry sauce.”

Following some additional banter, President Biden got straight to the point of the event by announcing, “based on their temperament and dedication to being productive members of society, I hereby pardon Chocolate and Chip.”

Upon hearing Biden’s “humor,” Chocolate and Chip said, “please, seriously. Kill us.”

One can’t help but think the joke was on Biden when someone named the turkeys “Chocolate” and “Chip.” Biden was famously derided for being fed softball questions during the 2020 campaign, answering reporters when asked what flavor of ice cream he had just purchased.

Biden enthusiastically answered, like a simpleton, “chocolate chocolate chip.”