Smart Toilet Flushes Federal Money Away, Rand Paul Says

( Libertarian Republican Senator Rand Paul revealed a shocking $6.9 million provision for the building of a “smart toilet” in his annual federal government waste report. The shocking revelation comes at a time when government spending is under increased scrutiny, following a $900 billion COVID-19 relief bill that was passed, which also spends hundreds of millions of dollars on foreign nations and non-COVID-related matters.

The Festivus Report 2020 revealed how researchers at Stanford University used $6,973,057 in federal money that was directed to the National Cancer Institute. Instead of using the money to help cure cancer, the money was actually used to build a smart toilet that contained several cameras that could identify individual “analprints” of users.

Does that sound like a good way to spend money intended to help cancer research? published an abstract, explaining how the “mountable toilet system for personalized health monitoring via the analysis of excreta” would work. It described the expensive toilet as “easily deployable hardware and software for the long-term analysis of a user’s excreta through data collection and models of human health.” The toilet would also reportedly monitor the color of urine, calculate whether the user has a healthy flow rate, and even classify stools to identify health.

All of these things can be done using current technology that does not require almost $7 million in federal funds.

“Each user of the toilet is identified through their fingerprint and the distinctive features of the anoderm, and the data are securely stored and analysed in an encrypted cloud server,” the abstract continued.

In a tweet, Rand Paul bemoaned how people are arguing how much to spend in Washington while huge sums of money are being wasted on things we don’t need.

For the record, the amount of money spent on this smart toilet idea would give roughly 3.5 thousand Americans the $2,000 check that Congress still can’t agree on to help them weather the lockdown economy.